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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in darkness_dawns' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 19th, 2005
9:11 pm
Ok, I havent posted for a few months but I will try and start again now. The entries will probably be longer later but itmis too hot now and I'm tired and smelly. Yum.
This means I was one of 3000 people who could get to the front and will be in the DVD of the event.
It was amazing.
Billy Joe 'wanked' on stage.
Tis really too hot for this now :oD
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
11:56 am
Well, went to James's 'party' last night. There were only about 15 people there and they had proceeded to drink most of the alcohol before we arrived. They were all off their faces as well, which smelt, I don't like drunk people and there were about 5 of us who were sober. Ah well, Verity, Lozza and myself took over the lounge which, conveniently, had 3 sofas. Yey! For the first bit there was a constant stream of people coming in and out until they broke the door handle. Mwahahaha, we then wouldn't open the door to anyone we didn't want coming in. Paul, another sober person, discovered he could open the door with a spoon, sorry, fork-handle and Luke (*drool*) who realised he could yell 'it's Luke' and we'd let him in. We then spent the rest of the evening discussing the colour of the living room walls (pistachio cream) and other random topics. We also hid Lozza's shoes. He didn't actually realise this until James's mother came home and we all moved upstairs. After realising that the bedroom was full of drunk people we stole the duvet and took over the stairs. They were conveniently wide and fairly comfy, especially with the duvet, however, people had to jump over the tangle of legs to get anywhere, it was funny. Heh heh, I'm such a sadist.
I was then sat next to Luke, who is taller than me, has nice eyes and is just on the right side of gorgeous. We exchanged numbers and when I went home we pulled and he hugged me and it was all good. *happy sigh*. Now I´m babbling...heh heh heh
Now I'm packing for Germany, which means I won't be able to post for 10 days!!! I'll write bullet points when I gets back. And...I won't see anyone in Aylesbury for 10 whole days! How appalling :o( I will go on a mass meeting and doing stuff weekend when I get back.

Current Mood: chipper
Friday, April 1st, 2005
10:38 pm
A spoon addict steals spoons from a cafe, the waitresses true love is about to reveal who the spoon addict is and gets spooned in the back, waitress seeks revenge, Spooner has spoon-withdrawal nightmare and in the end it turns out he is her dad so she doesnt shoot him.
An unlikely plot, but it was our drama musical. We performed it today and it was absolutely fucking brilliant.
Friday, March 18th, 2005
6:30 pm
House Drama. Woohoo. Loved it but the judges were horrible to us *sob*.
Missenden won (it was a well deserved win), Ascott got best technical, Waddesdon got best actress and Hughenden got best supporting actress (grrr)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
3:31 pm
13 days...whoops
Year 10 Health day. It was quite merry. Started with a talk from a mystery celebrity. Turned out to be a Watford footballer. Eek. I had to sit through the whole of the talk with Suzi going 'O my Gawd he is F-I-T' in a squeaky voice, meh, i just looked extra grumpy. :oD. I discovered Benji, Fenner, Spaniard, Joe and Sam were in my group, I knew Benji, Spaniard, Joe and Fenner and I had heard of Sam. Unfortunately the Barbies in our group draped themselves over as many boys as they felt were worthy so I didn't actually get to speak with them at all. *sigh*
We then had yoga. It was fun, I managed to contort myself into several awkward positions and introduced myself to the boy next to me as 'Hi, nice to meet you. Feck this hurts'. There was music and inscense. The music was birds chirping etc, then it changed to wave/beach music. I started laughing (silently)when the seagulls and dolphins started up. O the hilarity
We went to the next session fairly chilled and relaxed. It was a talk about drugs with an ex-druggie. Fairly amusing. Especially the munchies description. The only bad bit was when he constantly picked on Fenner. It was unfair on him, and didn't really provide any useful information for us. Ah well.
The next part of the day was self-esteem. The Irish dude told us it was actually se;f-awareness, which made me laugh. I was quite hyper after consuming large amounts of the chocolate biscuits I had hidden in my bag :o) we had to do lots of things about body language and eye-contact. I was partnered with Mike,woohoo. Funny. At the end we sang Britney, I sang it Americano. I was so hyper.
Lunch was the rubbish our school call food. I chose the veggie pasta as I wasn't to sure of the contents of the 'meat' one. It was really rank. *shudder*. We sat on an uber cool table and finished our lunch as quickly as possible, having cleared the table and discovering we still had time to spare we wandered off to our next session, Ready Steady Cook.
We ended up getting there early so had a massive bitching session with the uber cool people and some of the boys. How merry. Ready Steady Cook itself was slightly shite. We didnt have enough time to make anything decent. Ah well.
Next session was sex ed. It was the shitest sex ed ever, I came very close to walking it out. It involved us being yelled at a lot by a lady who was 8 months pregnant and liked the word 'girls'. We were told if we werent ready for sex we should not have a relationship, boys only want sex. This completely contradicted everything. Miss Mills was definitely better.
Last and also shite was the 'self-defence'. None of the stuff we were taught would in any way help if we were attacked and the gloves and pads we used smelt like feet. Ewww.

Current Mood: okay
Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
9:56 pm
Piked from Kooky who piked from gutterheart :o)
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on): Kitty Ingram

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name): Cookie Brian

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant): If Woolpack

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot): Ginger Australia (ok then)

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied): Ron Aylesbury

6. "FLY Boy" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): R.Fre

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen): Chocolate Dettol

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to Junior School): Kitten Bedgrove

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Seed Beer

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived): Jane Northumberland

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Ganache Molko
9:41 pm
Piked from Nats :o)

Your Beauty lies
in Individuality. Different, amazing, and all your
own. You like be set apart
from all others and most love that you do. You are
solitary at times, but for
the most part, there is no greater compliment to
you than someone telling you
that you are different. You're most likely a bit of
a fighter and you hate it
when anyone attempts to change who you are. You
wear what you want, look how you
want and don't let anyone tell you what do to. You
can be a little immature at
times and have trouble dealing with authority and
asking others for help. You
like to do things yourself and are independent
almost to a fault. But, people
still find your individuality amazing and the fact
that no matter what happens
or what anyone else anyone thinks about it, you
will not change who you are.</font>

Some Things
That Represent You:

Dark, Fire Animal: White Tiger Color:
Bold Colors, Odd
Colors Song: Just They Way I Am by Angel
Expression: Smirk

Bloodstone Mythological Creature: Phoenix,
Dragon Planet: Pluto
Hair Color: Unnatural Colors Eye


"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh
because you're all the same."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, March 12th, 2005
7:59 pm
Anything goes.
Yet again I have not been keeping up to date so I am now going to have to write a vast block of writing. Oops :o) Write my last post was the...5th so I'll just do the days that are interesting.

On Wednesday 9th it was house music day! After rehearsing about 5 times we had to sing the 4 part harmony of somewhere over the rainbow in front of the judges. It all went rather well, except for the fact that I was the only one who bowed at the end, whoopsy. Mrs G told us afterwards that we were the best choir, yippee. Later on, we found that someone else had won best choir, but we had best instrumental ensemble. Elise won best soloist (quite rightly) and Zoe got a commendation. A most merry day.

On Friday it was House football, this was just the greatest excuse for a piss-about I have ever heard. 8 of us were in the 'squad' with people who were doing P.E looking on/refereeing. Our team were excellent and we were undefeated. O yeh. We found out that clever us had come joint first in our year but our house had come joint last overall. Excellent. I screamed myself hoarse. *sigh* happy days, happy days.

That is about it actually, what an interesting week :oS. No parties and I have to babysit my sister now. Meh, I'm tired and restless, I think I will go to sleep shortly. *yawn*

night all

Current Mood: blank
Saturday, March 5th, 2005
6:44 pm
I have realised that I am stuck on slightly better than average. At everything. This sounds great, but if I'm slightly better than average at everything, what do I excell at. Everyone else seems to have something they are brilliant at, or some way that they are amazing, except me. And I hate moaning about it as well but I have been told to write it down or something because otherwise I will explode. So here it is. Why can't I just be great at ONE thing, why do I have to know so many brilliant people who outshine me. I want to be the one in the spot light, I don't want to share it with these beautiful people. At the moment I seem to be the one putting the spot light on them, I love making people happy but I want to feel what they feel. I could quite happily survive on keeping all my friends happy, and just giving my all for that. Unfortunately that isn't the way life works. I hate the fact I'm jealous of some of the loveliest people I know.
I think I'm going to go off and kick something or just cry now.

Current Mood: crushed
1:36 pm
Having had no internet for over a week (shocker) I am now going net crazy...I spent 4 hours on msn last night...o the shame. I learnt a lot though, twas merry.
I think I'll do a quick run down of what has happened in the last week... *sigh*.
It is now March 5th so that is the 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th.

On the 25th I had Chilli over again. We went up town with James, Spaniard, Caroline and some random people. Spent a lot of time in Costa eating sugar and we bought lots of sweets. Later, we went to a Limelight gig which was quite good, fairly quiet, but Verity and her sister were both there. Her sister is called Becca and is SO cool. Tres punk and lovely and has a fly tattoo, tis dudeish. We missed out on Pyre's performance but they're crap so it matters not really, I know them all anyway. Elliott was there I don't know why I liked him, he's just so...meh. O well. Rose and Racheal were there as well. Rose informed me that rumours were being spread about Georgi and what she'd done with Elliott which is why Georgi wasn't going to any gigs and was feeling down. It's a load of bollocks so I don't know why Georgi is feeling so depressed about it. People can be very silly. Bushcraft were there, they were really good so I got lots of merch. they were very nice so gave my friends CD's as well. Submerse were ace. I loved their music and it was just so bouncy and punk. I was also wearing my 'Enjoy cock' top which I love. A guy there noticed it and he kept looking at me, he was so cute...anyway more about him later.

On the 26th there was a profile gig. I love profile gigs muchly. They are the biggest thing that happens in Aylesbury. Hedroom, Hidden ajenda and 8 valve can were playing, along with other people...I don't do names heh heh heh. Saw James and Spaniard again. They were there with Aimee in my year. I was actually surprised by how many people I knew there, I kept seeing people and thinking 'omg I know them!'. Freya was there, she left our school at the end of year 9...she's lovely. Megan was there, I love her as well, and Heather, who was all gothic and looked absolutely amazing, she's so beautiful. I'll just put a list now and mention important bits in brackets: MC, Lizzy (actually his real name is Tom), Char (who I played poking with), Tamsin, Chloe, Tash, Rans, Titi, India, Naz, Chrellis (with Kat, who is gorgeous and I'm so jealous of them- they looked very happy), Becky (with her new boyfriend, Mike, who looks lovely and she looks happy :oD) Kelly, Lauren, Michaela, Katrina, Rosie, Paul (Steph's bf), Carl (the guy from the Limelight *drool*- he likes my top as well and I had a big convo with him) and Joe from Mirno (who gave me rollies when my fags had run out and was really nice and talked to us for ages...love him)and Georgi. Georgi saw me smoking and screwed. She told me I was trying to be something I'm not and I was fucking pathetic. It really upset me actually, I don't understand how she can say that, at the Profile I felt happier and more comfortable with me than I have ever felt before. I scratched my thumb and kept going til it bled. It has now gone all manky but I have made the greatest cover story about it. I'm a fantastic liar when I want to be :o). She was just being a bitch, I told her about my dad being in New York with another woman and she threw it back at me. I felt so small and insignificant and evil. I went down stairs and she sent Kelly after me, who then said I looked like I was on drugs...I was actually just really hyper. It didn't help Spaniard, James and Aimee were all stoned, honestly *rolls eyes*. Other than that it was very merry, I went moshing and crowd-surfing. I love being violent. Heh heh heh.

Dydd Dewi Sant on 1st of March. That's St David's Day in Welsh. I love being Welsh. It rules.

On the 3rd I slept over at my dad's house. It's weird, I don't think I'll ever get used to coming back here.

On Friday (yesterday) I got so homesick. I just want to go home to my house or go out to a gig where I can have fun and forget. Steve asked me if I wanted to go to a gig in Oxford at the Zodiac, I checked tickets on the internet but it said they were all sold out. So I didn't go. Later on, I got a text which said that there had been tickets on sale at the door so I could have gone. I felt so stupid. I had done nothing all evening except go slowly insane and think about myself and my life. That is just depressing. I probably would not have been able to go as my Mum wouldn't have trusted me enough to go into Oxford and get home again. I would say it isn't fair but that isn't really the point. There was also the school 'ball'. I didn't go. I don't think I could have coped with that either.

I'm now just sitting here writing this and eating pizza. I still want to go home. I got a new bed and mattress today and sheets. My sis was being a whiney sod as per usual. I can't stand her. Maybe I'll hire an assassin. Heh heh heh.


Current Mood: reflective
Monday, February 21st, 2005
8:19 pm
A little bit of this and that
Hmmm many gigs coming up and a distinct lack of money. I spent it all in Camden *insane grin*. I love Camden. It is so random and cool. We didn't get mugged or pick-pocketed, despite all warnings that said we would, silly people! Me and Chilli is streetwise and savvy :oD
I have also unpacked all boxes at les house, which is good. It feels like home now. Yey.
Well, that's about all. I feel ready for another holiday now, school feels very pointless and a waste of 'valuble' time. O well.
ta ra

Current Mood: contemplative
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
10:44 pm
I have no idea how to post a link to this :oD

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Have you ever had a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain and it.
7. Describe me in 1 word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When was the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this in your lj and see what I say about you?
16. If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?
10:01 pm
Still fat
Packing is so tiring. Things are just wearing me down. Parents are arguing again and I just can't cope anymore. Now I sound like a fucking broken record. Bloody hell.
James is upset again and I don't know how to help him, he says he can't tell me because he doesn't want to lose my friendship but doesn't that sort of defeat the point of being friends? O well. I guess I will find out eventually, I just hope he tells me. And then a certain someone, who shall remain nameless, is ignoring me. Again. I feel so frustrated with everything. It hurts. I need to get out of the house for a few days, just with friends. A few parties, some fun. That would do me nicely.
My life is like a bloody soap opera. Grrrrr.
I still feel fat and frumpy and ugly. I want to kick out and scream. Maybe go radically gothic or something, something that is just not me, but is me inside. Something different.
Well there's Camden on Friday, it had better be good.
I would love it if we could sleep forever.

Current Mood: crushed
2:05 pm
Feeling fat
Well I moved my bed and other stuff to the new house on Sunday. That was quite fun as I roped Vez, Chris and Scott into helping. We managed to get everything where it was needed, mainly the girls directing and carrying drawers while everyone else carried the heavy stuff but it worked. I'm now organising the rest of the stuff in my room, throwing some away and tidying up, I have discovered I've lost not one but two teddies which really pissed me off :o(. However, I am determined to keep my chin up, despite the desperate need for sleep...zzzzz
There was some amusement when my sister left her phone in her trousers which then went through the wash but I reckon it was some cunning ploy to get a new phone, not fair.
I have also been feeling really fat. I'm not hungry but I just eat and now I feel disgustingly huge but I just can't stop munching, it's horrible. I plan not to eat until meal times, which won't work but I also have a back up plan, if I need to eat I will eat fruit. I just hope we have some fruit left. :o( *sigh*. O well, I expect it's jsut me getting all depressed again. Last night I just sat there and thought, what is the point...it was so tempting just to stop. But I rolled over and cried myself to sleep, feeling rather like a lump of blubber, all wobbly. Yuk.
Well, Camden on Friday. I hope Ellie can come, but if not Chilli's a laugh. She's my birthday buddy :oD. I may go to the cinema tomorrow as well, if I have enough money. That's another thing. I need to get a job or something, I get so bored in the evenings and the extra cash would help a lot. Perhaps I could be a counsellor, I do enough of that anyway. If it isn't James and Mia it's me telling Will that he really is lovely and he should'nt be a defeatist. Valentine's Day sucks. At least I got an e-card from Vez. That was cool.
Well, I'm being told I have lots to do, which isn't exactly a lie either.
Later dudes

Current Mood: gloomy
Saturday, February 12th, 2005
6:48 pm


Rich in wisdom and charm, you are romantic and deep
thinking and your intuition guides you
strongly. Avoid procrastination and your stingy
attitude towards money. Keep your sense of
humor about life.</p>
The Snake would be most content as a teacher,
philosopher, writer, psychiatrist, and fortune

What Is Your Chinese Zodiac Animal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: chipper
Friday, February 11th, 2005
10:15 pm
Hee hee hee
Well, having slept a total of 15 hours last night I was actually really tired. So I did nothing all day. Except I actually helped around the house :-O. Shocker. Turned out I didn't have to go into school to help as yesterday neither teacher was there so my dear mama got fed up and said I would just stay at home. Everyone else has enjoyed their work experience. Dammit. Even people on the French exchange are enjoying it.
Well, there should be several gigs to go to. A Mirno one on the 20th and a Pyre one (with 2 other bands who I've forgotten) on the 25th, kookykirkp designed the posters for it. She now gets discount on Limelight gigs due to work experience. However, Naz may be able to get me a Mirno demo thing, woohoo.
Argh, moving on Sunday :oS, scary giblets. Spaniard and Scott may be coming to help, Nuse is in Colorado (lucky sod). I may see if I can drag Vez along...Vez the mango lady.
Hmmmmm I really need a corset and some new funky clothes.
O the Friday Night Project, tis funny. I am muchly amused. Kelly Osbourne does rule somewhat, even if her music ain't brilliant...
Also, I spoke to Nasher, woohoo. She lives :oD and is as kink...loverly as ever.
Well that's about all for my interesting day. Rawk on.

Current Mood: blank
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
7:45 pm
The Less I Do...
Today I did less than normal...I woke up, pottered about in my room, got dressed, fell asleep, went to town, came home and discovered MSN doesn't work.
Now I'm absolutely shattered and just want to curl up and sleep forever.
The French exchange sets off tomorrow, that means I won't see some people for 2-3 weeks, what with half term and everything. Grrrr. O what else?
Nothing, although people are enjoying their work experience, I'm jealous but glad they're having fun. It is quite nice doing nothing but there's only so much doing nothing I can take. I'm going to end up going mad before the end of this week. Watch the entries and watch me turning slowly crazy.
Ta ra duckies

Current Mood: tired
Monday, February 7th, 2005
10:53 am
Sods Law
So much for work experience...
First thing this morning and my lovely trousers had a hole in them :o( dammit. Then we were stuck in traffic, but no problems we were on time.
When we got there, however, there was burnt furniture, smoke stains and lovely plywood doors with big padlocks. It turned out there was a fire yesterday which gutted the ground floor. Their diary/contact book had also been destroyed along with reception. So no, I could not work there. Bugger.
Anyway, just got back from school, I have no work placement, my hairdressers might be destroyed and the heating in our new house has gone.
Friday, February 4th, 2005
6:04 pm
House Drama
Despite having lost my voice, standing like a man with bad posture and just stuff I got into House Drama! Woooooooo!
Dunno what part I have yet but I will send the little person in to find out :oD Should be fun though, Vez is doing it as well which will be good even if Natalie and Becca didn't get through :o(. Ah well, that's life *rolls eyes*.
I also need a rant of the day: politicians...what a load of fuckwits. I know people in my class who would make better speakers/ runners of countries. Grrrr. When I find out how to broadcast my dislike of them to the world I will.
I'm going to get on with my sad little life now...charity shopping tomorrow :o), maybe an evening out drinking (water of course) and then packing for the move! Fun, fun, fun! Argh, work experience next week :oO. Cannee wait.
Ta ra for now dudes

Current Mood: pleased
Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
3:28 pm
Feeling better
I finally found out who stole my Nickleback CD and successfully got it back! Yey
Have also started packing for the big move! Scary giblets! Counting down the days now (we moving on Feb 13th)
And I've decided my room is too quiet so have put on a CD and am playing it very loudly, I have a headache and can't speak (let alone sing along) but hey, fuck it.
I've also started my Art, at last. If anyone has any ideas for clay relief tiles please say...
Wooooo I'm chilled

Current Mood: calm
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